An introduction:
There seems to be a fundamental problem with the crux of this article.
If you're looking to install Drupal, chances are good you're not a goddamn idiot. In fact, judging from the general tone of the Drupal-resources on the web, if you want to install Drupal, you're probably some kind of freaking genius.
So let me start off this series of informational how-tos with a short note for you Einsteins watching me from Planet Drupal: We don't all have an army of robot slaves that we knitted just to carry our giant brains around behind us. Some of us working slobs actually have little-to-no-knowledge of how the interwebs work. This is a document for us.
You Drupalwinnians are welcome to parse this series, and by all means, let us know what you think, but when you talk to us, talk slow.


Thank you!

Funny! ...and thank you for keying in on exactly how I feel.